Prettiest Girl in Central and other stories
by sillygoose2006
Summary: A collection of one shots that involve Ed and Roy pranking one another with appearances from Hughes,Havoc and many others. For those who have read Prettiest Girl in Central or Looking sharp, those have been moved here along with many others. Enjoy!
1. Prettiest Girl in Central

"Edward Elric! Get in here!" Mustang yelled

"OOO someone's in trouble" Havoc teased

"Oh shove it, Jean. It's not my fault Mustang has no sense of humor"

"No but it's your fault that he found out you're the one that started the rumor that he enjoyed going to karaoke bars dressed in drag to prove he could be prettier than all of the girls he dated""How was I to know the rumor would take off so well? I didn't expect him to get hit on. I figured that the guys knew Roy well enough to know what's real and what's a joke."Jean just laughed and shook his head as Ed walked to his doom…ahem.. I mean to Mustang's office to get the lecture of his life.

Ed walked into Roy's office, shut the door and flopped down on his couch kicking his feet up. "You bellowed?""You think you're pretty funny don't you?""Not particularly no. Why? Did I do something funny?" Ed asked innocently

"You know what you said. You knew it would get back to me when you said it. What is there to stop me from snapping my fingers at you right now?""Hmm… I don't know what you're talking about ma'am… I mean sir, but in answer to your question, you wouldn't want to get singe marks on your couch or carpet." Ed grinned at Roy and could have sworn he almost say Roy smile back.

"Well, Fullmetal since we apparently are getting no where this way I propose we settle this differently."

"What now?""Well, I'm suppose to have dressed in drag to prove I'm prettier than all the girls I have dated right? Well, I propose we both dress in drag go to a bar and see who gets hit on the most. Whoever loses has to get their picture taken and blown up for the whole office to see."

"Ed raised his eyebrow at Roy "Um.. Roy? Have you lost your mind?""Maybe. What do you say?""If I refuse?""You do my paper work for the next three months"

"Alright fine. When are we doing this?""Tonight, before you find a way out of it.""You're on. Prepare to be embarrassed" Later that evening"I don't understand brother, why did you buy girls clothes and make up? We're not going to see Winry for another couple of weeks.""You'll see why Al, just hold on." Ed called through the door.Five minutes later Ed came out wearing a sparkling black dress that made his eyes pop his hair was down and he looked like he had even curled the ends. He also had make up on.

"Brother? Is there something you want to tell me?' Al asked backing away from Ed.

"Yep, Mustang and I have a bet on who can be the prettiest looking girl. Loser gets a picture of them dressed as a girl blown up in the office, Winner gets to tease mercilessly for a month the loser without any repercussions."

"You've finally lost it. I knew that would happen one day but I didn't expect it of Mustang." Al said shaking his head and leaving the room.Ed left to go meet Mustang after Al left.

"I thought you had chickened out Fullmetal," Roy called from the under the street light he was leaning against waiting. Edward looked Roy up and down. He was dressed in a dark blue dress that stopped at mid thigh, blue heels and a long dark wig. Ed had to admit if he hadn't known it was Roy, he'd have thought she was pretty. "Never Flame. I'd never lose the chance to le the whole office see you like this. I'd feel awful if I didn't share this with them all."

"We'll see. Shall we?" Roy asked motioning towards the bar.

'lets go" Ed said and they entered.

"Let's sit at the bar. The one who gets the most drinks bought for them wins." Flame explained the rules as they walked towards the bar."Deal. Be ready to say cheese"With that they shut up and the night went on.Ed had no idea there were so many perverts in Central until that night. He had many men buy him drinks and offer him a "ride home" among other things. Men made indecent proposals to Roy as well but in the end when they were almost to drunk to remember their wager, it was decided that Ed won."Congratulations, Fullmetal. You're the prettiest girl" Roy slurred as they walked out of the bar."Thanks Flame. What was our wager again?" He asked, looking as if he was thinking hard about what he was suppose to have won."I don't remember lets get home and get sleep. We'll remember tomorrow' Roy answered and they stumbled along until they got to Roy's house. "You can just sleep here" Roy said as the tripped inside and Roy instantly dropped on the couch and passed out.

Ed grinned, glad that he had fooled Flame into believing he forgot, reached into the purse he had carried and got out the camera. He snapped a couple pictures of Roy and then put the camera back in his purse and went to sleep in a chair.

The next morning Roy woke up and found Ed already gone. Deciding it was just a bad dream or something he went to get some medicine for his head and then started getting ready for work. He knew something was up as soon as he walked into the office. Everyone stopped talking around him and they were all smirking or looking like they were trying not to laugh. When he got into the area his personal team worked he saw why everyone was in such a merry mood. There was a picture of himself, dressed in drag with a banner hanging over the life size picture saying "Roy Mustang, Prettiest Girl in all of Central"

Next thing the office heard was "EDWARD ELRIC!"


	2. Looking Sharp

Disclaimer- I do not own FMA or any of the characters

"Brother what's wrong?" Al asked. He was concerned because Ed had just been sitting in the same chair seething since he left his meeting with Roy. Al couldn't get a word out of him. This was unlike his brother. Normally he was freaking out, going off about everything that "the bastard" had said and did but this… Ed being quietly angry, scared Al. He knew something bad would come out of it.

"Brother?"

Ed looked up at Al and suddenly smiled. "Don't worry, Al. I'm fine. ""What happened brother?"

"Just Mustang being Mustang and pissing me off as usual. Don't worry. I'm over it." Ed said with what was, Al was sure, supposed to be a reassuring smile but instead it just worried Al more. "Whatever you say brother" Al said with a tiny smile of his own.

Ed got up and he and Al walked home, the whole way Ed was plotting revenge while trying to keep from Al that he was up to anything.

Al knew that Ed was up to something but he also knew there was no point in trying to figure out what or trying to talk him out of it. Brother had his mind set and that was that. All he could do was sit and wait to figure out what kind of trouble brother would get into.

Once at home, Ed searched through cabinets to find what he needed for his revenge. What he couldn't find he would have to stop and buy at the store on his way. "Al I'm going out. I'll be back for dinner."

"Be careful, Brother"

Ed made a beeline for the store and bought the rest of his supplies. He was going to carry out his plan tonight. He didn't know what Mustang would do to him afterwards but whatever it was it would be worth it.

He brought everything home and hid it up in his room with the rest of the stuff he had found in his home and then washed up for dinner. "Brother, what did you do when you were out?""Oh, just a little shopping" Ed replied vaguely.

After dinner Ed helped clean up and then claimed he was tired and went to his room. Once he was sure he had all he needed he climbed out his window and started the long trek to Mustang's house.

He got there at a little after 10:00 P.M. and saw Roy sitting in a chair in his living room reading. He had a glass next to him on the table. Ed sat there waiting until he saw Roy get up and head towards the kitchen. He then pushed the window up and ran across the room and dropped the pills he brought from home into the glass and stirred them in and then ran back and quickly shut the window and hid behind the couch by the window and started his wait again.

Roy came back in carrying a plate of food and sat back in his chair taking a big drink out of the glass.

45 minutes later

Roy had fully passed out and Ed felt safe to come out. He brought the bag of supplies with him over to Roy's side and started working. Once he finished he brought out his camera and took a few shots from different angles then he packed up his stuff and left.

The next morning

Roy woke up and didn't know how he fell asleep in his chair. He hadn't done that in years. He stretched and rolled his neck to pop it then went up stairs to get ready for work. He got into the shower and then reached for his uniform all without bothering to look into the mirror. Once he was dressed he put on his boots and started walking to work.

He noticed he was getting odd looks but he just marked it up to a bad hair day from sleeping in the chair or something. He walked into the office and Hughes walked by grinning "Looking sharp today Roy"Mustang smiled back "Right back at you , Maes"

Roy walked into where his personal team's office was and saw more grins identical to Hughes. "What's going on today guys? Why's everyone in such a good mood?" Roy asked, really curious now.

"No particular reason sir" Breda answered and then Roy saw a group of people, including Havoc and Fuery standing around an area close to his office. He went to check what was so interesting and was having a hard time seeing so he ordered everyone to move back.

Once his order had been carried out he saw the picture of himself sitting in his chair asleep. Not a big deal until you saw his hair. What used to be a head of black hair was now blond in the front a deep purple on one half of the rest and a bright pink on the other half. His hair was spiked so you could see all of the colors.

"I didn't know anyone had a picture of me sleeping to use on their computer to photshop like this" Roy said trying to seem like he didn't mind a little joke.

"Um sir" Hawkeye said.

"Yes, lieutenant?" Roy asked thinking she was going to say she had been the one to have the picture

Instead of answering, Hawkeye just held up a mirror in front of Roy's face. Once Roy saw his hair he only could yell "EDWARD ELRIC!"


	3. The Last Laugh

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal alchemist or any of the characters in it.

"Did you have to tell people he was gay? " Havoc asked Roy, gesturing at a furious Ed trying to get through the crowd of men hitting on him."It's revenge for telling the girl I was out with that I was seeing Riza" Mustang said with a smirk.

"You didn't even like the girl you went out with though. Ed was giving you a way out" Havoc replied confused as to why that would merit revenge."That isn't the point. Fullmetal is always trying to annoy me in some way or another it was my turn to pay him back." Roy answered, smirking as Ed yelled that "If you all don't back the hell off, I'm going to blast you all out of here"Roy knew he could do it too because on a few occasions when they were being chummy, they had practiced alchemy together and Roy had taught Ed a few things about Flame alchemy.

The men all left in a hurry and Ed stomped over to Roy and Havoc. "If I find out you had anything to do with them all suddenly thinking I was gay, you will regret it" Ed warned Roy before going past him and out the door."Well lets hope he doesn't find out you did say it, otherwise I'm not sure you'll enjoy the results" Havoc stated before going back to work.Roy wasn't worried, he figured he knew the extent Ed's revenge would take and it was nothing to horrible. Supposing he did find out for sure that Roy had been the one to let that rumor out, that is.Oh how wrong he was.

The next morning, Edward smiled at Roy as he walked in. "Good morning, Roy" Ed called to him as he went into the office."Morning, Ed" Roy answered with a wave, though inwardly he was confused. Ed never called him by his first name. Something was up.When he went into his office, he saw a basket of flowers on his desk. He smirked to himself. One of the many girls he had been dating recently must have sent him flowers in hopes of another date. Well he shouldn't disappoint her. Walking over to the flowers he found the card in them simply saying "Meet me at Clovers tonight at 8" no signature or anything.

"Hmm maybe its someone new, who's to shy to ask me out outright" Roy thought to himself. He decided to put this poor flower at ease and meet with her tonight to sweep her off her feet.

Throughout the rest of the day Roy was in a good mood, smiling at everyone who he came across. He was in such a good mood he failed to realize that Ed was not quite acting like himself.

That night he got ready for his date. He dressed in black slacks and a dark purple button up. He looked pretty damn good if he did say so himself. He left at 7:30 so he would have time to pick up some flowers for his date and still make it a little early. He picked out a nice bouquet of red and white roses and then went on to the restaurant.

Once there he looked around, there were quite a few women there but they all were with other people, then from behind him he heard "You brought me flowers? How sweet" He knew that voice, "Ed? What are you doing here?""Well meeting you for our date of course." Ed stated innocently. "I showed everyone in the office the card and flowers you sent me yesterday asking me out today. They all seemed to think it was really sweet. Hawkeye is glad you finally are admitting your gay.'

"What? What flowers? What are you talking about?" Roy asked utterly confused.

"Come now, don't be shy. Say cheese" Ed said with a smirk as he positioned the camera out and leaned in and kissed Roy at the same time as snapping the picture before Roy could stop him. "Come on sweetie. Don't want to be late for our dinner reservations." Ed said in a overly sweet voice, as Roy just stood there in shock at what had just happened. Had Ed just kissed him? The night progressed and Roy was getting more and more confused as to what was going on, finally he came out and asked "What's going on, Fullmetal?""Whatever do you mean? We're here on the date you asked me on""I never asked you out"

"The card and flowers say otherwise, Roy" Ed said with a wink

"I didn't send them!" Roy yelled.

"Roy, don't you like me anymore?" Ed asked with his lips quivering a bit."I'm NOT GAY, DAMNIT" Roy yelled

Ed smirked, "Alright, Roy. If that's how you feel, I understand. Goodnight."With that Ed left the restaurant and went home. Roy still confused as to what was going on went to a bar to see if he could pick up a real date, pushing the incident out of his thoughts.

As soon as Roy came into his office area the next morning he heard "ROY MUSTANG! HOW COULD YOU" he heard the click of the gun and saw an angry Hawkeye glaring at him.

"Something wrong, Riza?" Roy asked and gulped."How could you do that to Ed?" She demanded

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Roy asked confused

She pointed over by Ed's desk and saw a blown up picture of Ed kissing Roy and words written across it saying "Edward Elric-gay and desperate""Riza, Ed took that picture, not me" Roy tried to explain.

"You expect me to believe Ed put this picture up himself?" With that Hawkeye lowered her gun and Roy sighed but he felt relief to soon as a gunshot sounded and Roy found himself with a wounded foot. "Apologize to him right now and take him on a proper date or you don't want to know what I'll aim for next." Hawkeye ordered "He's been crying since he got here. Saying he thought that you two had had a good time last night and that he never expected it to turn out this way."

Roy was in to much pain and to scared to argue any more and went over to Ed "I'm sorry Ed, would you like to go out with me tonight to make up for it?" Roy asked loud enough for Hawkeye to hear, while all the while still hopping a little in pain.Ed looked up at him, tears in his eyes though Roy could swear he saw an evil glint there too "I don't think so Roy, you already did enough damage. I don't need your pity date" With that Ed turned away from him. Roy was at a loss as to what was happening but he tore down the picture by Ed's desk and threw it in the trash, then continued on to his office. Havoc was waiting by the door, "I told you, you shouldn't have messed with him sir. Ed always gets the last laugh" with that he walked over to his desk, letting Roy figure out what had been going on all along. Ed had been getting revenge and it had not only made him lose a great deal of pride and reputation with the ladies but also had gotten him shot. Realizing he had lost the prank war he could only think of one thing to do and that was to yell "EDWARD ELRIC"


	4. Pana Bear

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters

"Hey Roy," Ed called

"Good morning Ed, what brings you to my office so early?" Roy asked, confused because Ed doesn't usually come to his office so early."Al and I are having a costume party at my house next weekend. Everyone in the office is going. Along with a lot of other people from both Al's job and here outside of our office. The whole point of it though is to try and guess who everyone is so no talking about costumes" Ed explained.

Roy normally would have declined but he knew Ed assumed he would do this so he decided to surprise Ed and accept. "Sure, Fullmetal, I'll be there." As expected, Ed's jaw dropped at this and Mustang held in a chuckle as he smirked at the young alchemist. "Yeah, well that's great. Make sure to not talk to anyone about costumes!" Ed stressed as he left Roy's office, still looking shocked which mad Roy happy. As soon as Ed left the office he smiled and called Al to warn him they were having a party next weekend. After that he invited the people in the office and went on about his work.

The week passed by fast and before he knew it, Roy found it was the day of the party and he still hadn't figured out what costume he was going to wear. Roy searched his closet and couldn't find anything so he decided to go shopping for one. After going to many different shops and finding nothing that would suit him, he saw a small shop that he hadn't seen before that had the perfect costume sitting in the window.Since the point of this party was for people to figure out who the people in the costumes were, he knew that this would be the best costume. He went in and found the costume in his size and took it home. At about 6:30 that evening he dressed up in the costume and walked to the Elric brothers home. The party was suppose to start at 6 but he had accidentally fell asleep and woke up after 6 so he was going to be late. Oh well, being fashionably late was allowed. It would make it that much harder for them to figure out who he was seeing as he was always on time.

He got to the Elric brother's door about 6:45 and rang the doorbell. He heard someone yell "Come in" and so he opened the door and entered the room.

It was really quiet for a party, was the first thing Roy thought, before he saw a flash, and then another flash. "Were those cameras?" He thought to himself, looking for the source."A panda suit? I didn't know you were the panda sort, Mustang. It's rather cute" Ed said with a smirk."Aww I have to hug it" Winry exclaimed from somewhere in the room and then she ran over and hugged Roy."Pana Bear!" Elicia squealed and clapped her hands as her and Gracia walked up to him."What's going on, Fullmetal?" Roy asked "I thought everyone was supposed to dress up""About that… Havoc and I had a bet on whether or not I could get you to dress up for Halloween and I thought I'd have some fun with it" Ed smirked.Roy took the Panda head off and looked around the room and saw Al, Gracia, Hawkeye, Havoc, and everyone else from his office were there and then he focused back on Ed and saw the camera in his hand and the smirk on his face as he called "Havoc you owe me lunch all next week" and heard Havoc groan, knowing how much Fullmetal could eat.

"It really is a cute costume, sir" Hawkeye told him and he saw her trying to hide a smile. That was the last straw. "Give me the camera, Edward" Roy growled."I don't think so" Ed laughed and took off running out the door and down the street. Roy started running after him yelling "GET BACK HERE, EDWARD ELRIC!!"


	5. Before I tourch you

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or the characters.

"Where is it? What did you do with it?" Roy asked Ed frantically, waving his arms around and pacing up and down.Ed watched Roy freaking out, with mild amusement, for a few moments before answering, "Where's what, Mustang? You have to tell me what you're looking for, if you want me to help find it.""You know what I'm talking about! You stole it! Give it back!" Roy yelled as he gripped Ed's shoulders and shook them."Temper Temper, Roy! So violent and you won't even tell me what I supposedly stole. Geez" Ed said with a smile as Roy went back to pacing and muttering under his breath, how he had to find it and that he couldn't go home without it."Ed, what'd you do to him?" Hughes asked, walking up to the two and swinging an arm around Ed's shoulder."I don't know. He seems to think I stole something. I don't know what he's talking about though." Ed said with a smile.

"YOU DO TO! NOW GIVE IT BACK BEFORE I TORCH YOU!" Roy yelled.

"Roy, if you think he has something of yours and you kill him, how will you get it back?" Hughes asked the now hysterical man."I have to have it back, Hughes! You don't understand, I can't live without it! I need it…." Roy continued to babble as Hughes took his arm off of Ed's shoulders and instead put it around Roy's, leading him towards his office and away from Ed."It's alright Roy. I'll handle finding out what Ed knows about your missing object. Now you just go sit down in your office." Hughes said soothingly. Then, as he opened the door, asked "What was it you said you were missing?"

"MR. DUCKY!" Roy yelled running over to his desk, where a large rubber duck now sat.

Hughes smiled and turned to where a now laughing Ed stood behind him. "Good acting, Ed. You gave me plenty of time to sneak it back in there""I didn't lie to him. He kept asking what I did with it and accusing me of stealing. I didn't touch it" Ed said with a smile.

"It's crazy that he still carries that thing around with him. He's had it since before I knew him and apparently can't take a bath without it." Hughes laughed at the thought of the grown man playing with a rubber duck in the bath tub.Ed laughed too and then went to tell the rest of the office about Roy's rubber friend, as Hughes went to bother someone else before Roy figured out his role in the kidnapping of Mr. Ducky.

Ed was laughing with the rest of the crew over duck incident, when Roy came to the door of his office. Seeing Ed and everyone laughing confirmed to Roy that Ed was the thief and now the whole office knew about Mr. Ducky. He was seeing red at the thought of Mr. Ducky in the hands of that blonde brat and decided it was time for him to learn a lesson about touching other people's things, so he yelled "EDWARD ELRIC!"


	6. Click

This story is dedicated to Bonus Material who always encourages me with my writing. Oh and I'm cheering for Anise ;D Thanks much :D.

Enjoy everyone!

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of the characters

"Say Cheese" was all Roy heard before a bright flash blinded him.

'Hughes, what the hell?" Roy yelled at the grinning man

CLICK another flash and then Hughes lowered his camera and smiled at Roy "Gracia got me a camera for my birthday, so I decided it was time for me to take up photography. Isn't it great? Look at this adorable picture I took of Elicia! She's so cute!…." he continued on and on, but Roy had stopped listening and had already turned to head to his office. CLICK he heard as he opened the door.Rolling his eyes, Roy knew this was going to be the start of a very bad week.

It had been three days and around the office people were already hiding at the hint of Hughes coming around. Riza had threatened to shoot him twice already when he wouldn't stop snapping pictures of her talking to Ed. Ed started hanging out in Mustangs office when Hughes was there, much to Roy's displeasure, because it was the only place Hughes wouldn't snap pictures. The second day Roy had set fire to a picture of himself that Hughes had brought in and warned Hughes that the camera would be next. Since then Hughes had been avoiding Roy's office and Roy in general with his camera.

"Is there no stopping him?" Ed asked. He was bored of sitting in silence just to get out of pictures

"Steal the camera?" Roy suggested. He would do about anything to get the brat out of his office for good."He'd buy another." Ed answered and continued with "Why don't you send him on assignment or something?""He's not my officer to send on assignment, but if you don't shut your mouth or get out of my office, I'm going to be sending you on a long assignment that involves living with Hughes and his camera." Roy replied thinking that would shut him up for sure.Ed got up off of his couch and walked over to where Roy was reading at his desk and read over the older man's shoulder. "Reading manga at work? Hawkeye's going to shoot you when she finds out you're not doing your work."Roy turned quickly to face Ed, angry and annoyed he opened his mouth to start yelling when they heard the tell tale CLICK and then laughter as the door slammed shut before they could even register what had happened.

"Did Hughes…" Ed started

"Just enter my office. take a picture and run off? Yes, Fullmetal, he did. Go back to work and get the hell out of my office" then to himself he muttered "That camera is going up in flames next time I see him." Ed left Roy's office figuring it wouldn't be wise to annoy the man any farther today.He spotted Hawkeye as he walked out and thought "Well maybe one more little prank wouldn't hurt"

"Oh, Hawkeye?" Ed called once he was in ear shot of the woman.

"Yes, Ed?" She asked barely looking up from the paperwork she was working on.

"Roy wanted me to ask you if he left his manga out here with you. He was done with the one he was reading and can't seem to find the next volume." Ed told her with a completely blank face that told her nothing."HE'S READING INSTEAD OF DOING HIS WORK AGAIN?" Hawkeye yelled as she jumped up and marched over to Roy's office and pushed her way inside as Ed bent over with the laughter he had been holding in.

CLICK "Good picture Ed!" Hughes called before running out of the office."I swear, that man is asking to get hurt." Havoc announced, appearing beside Ed, watching him glare in the direction Hughes had run off in.

Ed opened his mouth to reply, when he saw the door to Roy's office open and a satisfied looking Hawkeye coming out followed by a red faced Roy.When Roy spotted Ed he yelled "EDWARD"

Ed took this as his time to leave and told Havoc "Have fun" and took off towards the door Hughes had gone through."EDWARD ELRIC! GET BACK HERE" Roy yelled as Ed ran through the door and disappeared, laughing.

The next morning

"Ed! Wait up!" Hughes called.

"I'm not in the mood for pictures, Hughes" Ed growled, grumpily.

"I left the camera at home. I just wanted to show you this picture" Hughes promised, waving a picture towards Edward.

Ed grabbed it and looked. It was the picture that was snapped of him and Roy the day before. Their faces were close together and looked as if they were about to kiss.

"What about it Hughes?" Ed said, mood definitely not improved by seeing this picture."Now look at this one" Hughes said, ignoring the grumpy tone.Ed took the next picture, not looking forward to it's contents but one look instantly made him interested.

"Is that… Hawkeye?" Ed asked Hughes, still looking at the picture of Roy looking intimately close to a blond somewhere outside of the central building.

"So you didn't know either huh? Roy's always been good at keeping secrets." Hughes told him with a laugh."Though I find this interesting, what do the two pictures have to do with one another?" Ed asked still confused as to why Hughes was showing him these pictures.

"I don't like when my friends keep secrets like this from me, so I was thinking of messing with Roy a little and I thought you might like to help." Hughes replied with a grin.

Ed was once again interested in what Hughes had to say, "Go on"

"I was going to show Hawkeye, and everyone else in the office of course, the picture of you and Roy. I'll tell them I caught you in a compromising position. I just need you to keep your cool and not say anything to ruin the affect of my words and the picture.""Why would the office thinking Roy and I were close mess with Roy?" Ed asked, still confused and quite a bit leery of allowing the office to think he and Mustang were ever close.

"If Hawkeye thinks Roy was with you at the same time he was intimate with her, she's bound to say or do something to Roy that will amuse us. We'll just have to sit back and watch." Hughes explained smirking somewhat evilly.

Ed shuddered a bit at the smirk thinking "I'm glad he didn't find out I was keeping secrets from him" then answered "Sounds fun, I'm in."

They continued into the office and after sending a quick wink at Ed, said he had something everyone may be interested in.After seeing that there was no camera around, curiosity got the best of most of the office and Falman, Breda, Havoc, Hawkeye and Ed walked over to Hughes. Ed knew he had to act embarrassed and shocked that Hughes had the picture so he was mentally preparing himself as Hughes waited for everyone to gather around him.

"As you all know, I picked up a little hobby of the past week." Hughes started and most of them groaned in response to that.

Ignoring the groans, Hughes continued on "Well, one of the perks of my new hobby is catching people off guard and finding out peoples secrets. I was lucky enough, yesterday, to uncover a secret of two people in this very office." Ed noticed Hawkeye looked nervous and started laughing inside his head at the hell Roy was going to go through.

Hughes went on to say "I could just tell you the secret but I don't' think any of you would believe me so instead, I'll allow you to see with your own eyes" and with that he took the picture of Roy and Ed and handed it to Havoc, who was on his immediate left."Ed?.?.? And Mustang?" Havoc sputtered, confused."WHAT?" everyone, including Ed yelled. Ed made an attempt to grab the picture but was beat by Hawkeye.She took one look at the picture, threw it at Fuery and Breda and stomped over to her desk where she grabbed her gun and walked towards Roy's office.Hughes winked at Ed and they both hurried to follow her. Lucky them, she hadn't had the presence of mind to shut the door completely so they got to spy on the lover's spat without getting shot at."ROY MUSTANG! I trusted you. When you told me you were done playing around with all of those other girls, I didn't think you meant you were going to start going after guys instead. I thought you were serious when you said you were ready for a real relationship. Is he the reason we've been keeping our relationship secret? Is that the truth of it then? You want him more than me?" She yelled at a very confused Roy, her gun clutched tightly in her hand, left in plan sight."Riza? What are you talking about? What man am I supposedly with?" Roy asked trying to smirk and not look as scared as he felt."Don't 'supposedly' me. I saw the picture of you two!" She stated angrily.

"Picture of me and who?" Roy asked even more confused now.

"Edward Elric" she spat out the name with such venom that Ed shivered a bit and for the first time questioned the wisdom of this prank.

Roy did a stupid thing then, he laughed. He laughed hard. "Riza? Ed and I can't stand each other 90 of the time, what makes you think I would go out with him? Even if I was interested in males, he wouldn't be an option."

Riza cocked her gun at him not happy with his attitude, "You're not getting out of this one Mustang" Roy stopped laughing and looked at her in shock, "You're serious aren't you? Ed and I?""I told you, you're not getting out of this one" and she aimed the gun. That's when Hughes felt the need to step in."Um, Hawkeye I wouldn't do that if I were you."Without even looking at him, she replied "And why not?""It may put a damper on your relationship with Roy if you shoot him." Hughes answered, trying to diffuse the situation with a little humor."I don't date cheaters""I understand, but you see…Roy didn't cheat." Hawkeye looked at him for the first time "You're the one that showed us the picture, Hughes. I know you didn't know at the time that Roy and I had been dating but you said it was taken yesterday. Roy and I were together yesterday as well. Which means it was cheating.""Roy and Ed weren't doing anything besides fighting, Riza. I heard them arguing and I came in to snap a picture and then later on yesterday evening I snapped this picture of you two." He handed her the picture he had shown Ed earlier. "I was upset with Roy for not telling me so I decided to get back at him a little. I'm sorry I allowed it to go so far." Hughes hung his head a little.Hawkeye looked at him and then at Roy and back at Hughes again. "No more cameras at work and no more snooping on me period. Got it? If I catch you at it again, I'll shoot you." Hughes nodded, smiling in relief."And you" Hawkeye said to Roy who snapped to attention, "Cute picture of you and Ed." Smirking she left Hughes to deal with an angry Roy, shutting the door behind her.

"Maes, you do realize you almost cost me my relationship?" Roy asked evenly

"I'm sorry Roy, I just wanted to mess with you a bit. It's not like you to keep secrets from me." Hughes answered, honestly.

Roy sighed, "I'll let it go this time but tell Gracia she needs to talk to me before buying you anymore presents." Hughes laughed and started to walk out of the office.

"Oh, Hughes?" Roy called.

"Yeah Roy?" Hughes asked looking back with his hand on the doorknob

"Why didn't Ed say anything about the picture? He wouldn't want people to think we were together anymore than I would" Hughes scratched the back of his head, he had been hoping to leave Ed out of this. "Well, I kind of told him my plan beforehand so he wouldn't ruin it.""He knew?" Roy asked and when Hughes nodded Roy waved him out of his office. He then got up and went to the door and yelled, "EDWARD ELRIC!"


	7. Silly quick convos

Just a couple of amusing conversations that were in my head, a real one shot will be coming soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or the characters

Convo 1.

Rose: I love you, Ed.

Ed: Sorry, I'm in love with my boss, I mean my job

(Somewhere elsewhere) Roy: My ears are burning, one of the many beautiful ladies must be talking about me.

Convo 2

Riza: Sir, I'm in love with you

Roy: Sorry, Ed looks better in a mini skirt

BANG

Convo 3

Hughes: Look at my daughter! Isn't she adorable?Roy: Nobody cares

Hughes: That's it! You're sleeping on the couch!

Convo 4

Ed: I hate youRoy: The feeling's mutual

Ed: Wanna make out?Roy: Oh hell yes!

Can you tell I'm bored? If anybody has any one shot ideas they would like written, send them to me. It's fun. :D I'll probably have a new one shot soon. Have fun!


	8. I told you pants were mandatory

Hey everyone! I know it's been a long time since I wrote one of these, and this isn't one of my best, but I've been working on an ouran story and just started nanowrimo on top of working a full time job so Sorry! Enjoy!

Mustang walked into his office, as he did every morning, attempting to sneak past Hawkeye, getting caught and sent off with a bunch of paperwork and sulking the rest of the day because he had to work. Nothing at all, up until this point, showed that anything would be any different, he had got caught by Hawkeye and he had his arms loaded with paperwork, when he pushed the door open with his foot and walked over to his desk.

He was lost in his own little world and didn't notice that he wasn't alone until he had already sat down and pulled out a pen to begin the day's work.

"Ahem" came a voice close by Mustang's jumped and looked up to see no other than Edward Elric stretched out on the couch he claimed as his, dressed in only his shorts and a black wife beater.

"What are you doing in here? And for goodness sake where are your pants?" Mustang yelled out, in shock.

"I don't know,lover. Where'd you throw them?" Edward asked with a wink.

"Wha?" Mustang asked, to confused to be anything else.

Just then the door burst open and in came Hughes, Hawkeye and Havoc.

"See Jean, I told you he wanted me" Edward said, superiorly

"Damn, I'm out 50 bucks. I could of swore you were straight, Mustang" Havoc complained as he walked over to Edward and handed him fifty dollars out of his wallet."Wha? I am straight" Mustang yelled, offended.

"Sure you are, buddy" Hughes said, winking at him as he said it."Hawkeye! Tell them I'm straight" Mustang ordered.

Hawkeye just looked between him and Ed.

"How does Ed being half naked in my office before I came here make me gay?" Roy asked, finally starting to get his wits about him."It doesn't" Hawkeye started."You not kicking him out right away or at least having him cover up, does" Hughes finished with a grin as he continued, "You love birds have fun now"

With that, the three walked out with grins on all of their faces. Ed chose then to get up and start walking to the door."Where do you think you're going?" Roy demanded.

"To work" Ed answered as if it had been obvious.

"Not without clothes you aren't" Roy answered.

"You'd rather me stay in here without clothes?" Ed asked with a smirk."No, you're going to get dressed. You might get away with not wearing your uniform, but pants are mandatory."

Ed just grinned at him, blew him a kiss and walked out of his office. Roy ran to the door yelling, "EDWARD, I TOLD YOU PANTS WERE MANDATORY DURING WORKING HOURS!"

When he got to the door however, he saw Ed standing by Hughes, fully dressed and smirking.

"Only during working hours, huh Roy? So he is allowed to be without pants in your presence when it's not working hours?" Hughes asked with a grin as Ed laughed and Roy turned an amusing shade of red.

He knew he had not helped his "I'm not gay" case by yelling about Ed wearing pants during working hours and he knew some how that Ed had engineered all of this to make it look as if he were gay for some reason beyond his comprehension. Ed needed to be punished but the only thing he could get to come out was "EDWARD ELRIC!"


	9. In need of some fun

"What?" Roy asked, not believing what he was hearing.

"We're all going Ice Skating." Ed repeated for probably the forth time already.

"Why ice skating?" Roy asked.

"Because Hughes wants to" Ed replied with a shrug.

"I don't think I want to." Roy replied in the same casual manner, hoping it would be that easy.

"Alright" Ed answered with another shrug, and then turned towards the door.

"That's it?" Roy asked, shocked that it was actually that easy.

"Yep, I'm not going to argue with you." Ed told him with a smirk.

Roy didn't' like that smirk but nodded at Edward as Ed opened the door. Roy didn't realize until it was to late that Ed had only said "I'm not going to argue with you"

"ARMSTRONG" Ed yelled out the door

"No Ed!" Roy yelled, but it was to late.

"Yes Ed?" Armstrong asked, appearing instantly at the door.

"Roy doesn't want to go ice skating. I need your help….persuading him." Ed told the big man with a wink.

"Of course" Armstrong answered walking into Roy's office and facing Mustang. "Colonel Mustang" He said with a nod. After that formality, he walked around Roy's desk, picked Roy up and walked out of the office. The whole time everyone within earshot heard "PUT ME DOWN! LET ME GO! THIS IS AN ORDER! PUT ME DOWN!!!" all the way down until he was thrown into an open car door driven by Hawkeye.

"HAWKEYE! Not you too" Roy exclaimed as the car started going.

"Sorry sir, but they had a point when they told me you needed to have some fun in your life." Hawkeye replied with an apologetic shrug.

With Armstrong on one side of him and a tin of metal otherwise known as Al on the other side of him, he knew he had no chance of getting out of the car so he sat back and sulked.

"How is this fun when I'm forced to come against my will?" Roy asked, hoping Hawkeye would see reason.

"Why are you being such a baby about this?" Ed asked from the passengers seat.

"I am not acting like a baby" Roy said, sounding offended.

"Could have fooled me. Is the great Flame Alchemist afraid of a little ice?" Ed taunted. Armstrong,

Hawkeye and Al all tried to muffle their laughter at this.

"I am not afraid. If anything you all should be afraid I'll melt the ice from underneath you for making me come" Roy retorted, glaring at the grinning blond.

Ed rolled his eyes and returned to looking out the window while Roy continued his sulking the rest of the way to the ice skating rink.

When they got there Armstrong got out first and looked at Roy, blocking the doorway. "Are you going to come in by yourself or do I have to carry you, sir?"Roy glared but answered "I'll come in myself, thank you"

"Big baby" Ed whispered loudly

"I heard that!" Roy snapped as he got out of the car."You were suppose to" Ed replied smiling sweetly.

Roy marched out of the car and straight to the entrance of the ice rink, so angry he forgot that this would be the opportune time to escape until it was to late.

Once at the entrance he was greeted by Hughes, who clapped him on the shoulder "Glad you decided to come Roy" Roy opened his mouth to tell Hughes how he had, in fact, not decided to come at all but was cut off by a tugging at his coat. "Can you hold my hand, Roy? I don't want to fall" Elysia asked, looking up at Roy with a smile.

Roy wasn't mad at her so he smiled at her and said "Sure, Elysia"

He now had no way to leave, he had just promised his god daughter he'd skate with her. He sighed but went over and rented a pair of skates and then went to put them on. Elysia came up to him grinning and holding out her hand.

Roy grabbed hold of her hand and they took off on the ice. Roy was a little wobbly, having not skated in years but Elysia was doing really well for her age. He was impressed. She led them out to the middle and Roy was so focused on keeping up with her and keeping his balance that he didn't pay attention to where she was leading them.

All of the sudden he felt Elysia let go of his hand and then he hit a bump and went flying….straight into a pile of snow.

He got up and looked around to see everyone, Hawkeye, Hughes, Elysia, Al, Falman, Furey, Havoc, and Gracia, laughing at him. The only two he didn't see were….

He was suddenly picked up out of the pile of snow by Armstrong who set him on his feet, eyes twinkling "You should really be more careful sir, if Ed here hadn't transmuted some of the ice into a pile of snow you could have really gotten hurt" Roy looked at Armstrong's twinkling eyes and then past him to a doubled over laughing, Ed and knew he had been set up. He glanced over at Elysia doing circles around everyone and Hughes laughing at his daughters antics and realized she was never afraid of falling, suddenly remember some of Hughes babble about how he took her every chance he got. He then looked back at Ed who was still doubled over in laughter and just knew he was the one who had set him up.

His glare was back as he started skating towards the laughing blond. Ed noticed just in time and started skating, quickly, in the opposite direction, throwing a snow ball from the pile, over his shoulder at , who got hit in the face with the snowball, got off balanced and try as he might to keep his balance, found himself falling towards the ice, the whole way he fell he yelled "EDWARD ELRIC!"


End file.
